Dressed Differently

Dressed Differently

 Depression 

 

Let’s talk about it… 

 

I know that we are in a time where mental health has been at the forefront of a lot of people’s minds. Unfortunately, discussing depression in 2020 is still quite taboo. Many try to walk around as if nothing is happening, nothing is going on. 

 

They sweep issues under the rug… they tell you it’s just in your mind… you’ll be OK… 

 

They simply refuse to acknowledge when there’s a problem.

 

In my personal opinion, I believe it’s about high time that we stop acting like absolutely nothing is wrong. Now is the time to acknowledge the things that we have mentally brushed to the back of our minds…as if to hide it under a nice fancy looking rug trying not to face the mental challenges that heavily weigh on us. I’ll be the first to say, don’t be self-conscious about people’s perception of you. 

 

Don’t care who you think will label you, or not except you, or won’t understand where are you were coming from. 

 

There is somebody out there who can help.  My prayer, find the courage to speak up. 

 

Advocate for yourself. 

 

Tell someone what you need.

 

Depression and I are not strangers.

 

Depression was a struggle I’ve faced since elementary school. My fondest memory was sixth grade, just sitting there completely spaced out. My teacher was pretty dope though. He would ask me where are you today and I will tell him things like I’m in space. I vividly remember sitting there feeling like I was literally in space. Looking back now I realize that a lot of the dark places that I went through in elementary school and the people who contributed to those feelings of alienation were going through some really dark stuff too.

 

Sometimes when we’re going through and feel pained by people around us we don’t really consider that the treatment felt at the hands of others, stems from brokenness they’re walking through. Sometimes their brokenness will spill over into how they govern themselves and in turn those same hurt people will hurt other people. Fast forward to my sophomore or junior year in college. I was in a serious relationship with my then fiancé. During those years we married.. he also joined the military and about a month later he went off for training. At that time I worked full-time(overnight dealing with freight) and went to school full-time, but Little did I know that in the midst of all of that I was also pregnant. One night we were out with friends and something wasn’t quite right. We got back home and I realized that I was bleeding, so he and my mom took me to the ER.

 

 I lost the baby that day. 

 

It was devastating. I remember being wheeled from the ultrasound room heartbroken. 

 

My words to my angel baby… I didn’t get a chance to meet you but I love you. The following days were very dark. 

 

I was very depressed.

 

The emotional pain was so heavy that one night while at work I  felt so overwhelmed.  People would just be in close proximity to me and I would begin to cry. They wouldn’t even be talking to me, but I would just start crying and had to go home. 

 

I spent days in the dark, not wanting to get out of the bed, not wanting to be around anyone. 

 

One day I said to myself I can’t stay in this place, I refuse to stay in this place…I know what it feels like to be depressed and I just can’t go back there again. 

 

In this rough place my faith took a turn I didn’t expect. Although the previous year I gave my life to Christ, I wasn’t living for Him. There was no relationship between us. This loss was the catalyst to the building of a beautiful albeit rocky friendship. It was at that point my decision to get to know Him was made. 

 

Anyway, depression is one of those spirits that hoovers over an individual, just like the commercial. It is very big and gloomy like a cloud over you. There are steps you can take and even certain medications that will shrink the cloud. Unfortunately, it will literally follow you.

 

You might feel happy or experience joy but the reality is that it never goes away until you begin to deal with it. You have to make a decision to push past where you are and seek help. 

 

Matthew 7:7 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Prayer and the Golden Rule

7 “Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.

 

Fast forward about 10 years later, divorce hits and guess what decides to show up again… Depression. Now I kept saying to myself I can’t be depressed. I refuse to be depressed. I know what it means to be depressed and you don’t have any place in me. Upon reflection, I realized that sometimes we can do this thing where we try not to acknowledge that the spirit can be there. We may make an attempt to bypass it instead of considering the possibility that it has returned.  Struggles tried to consume me as a result of rejection, brokenness, failure, and motherhood. It was overwhelming.

 

Depression showed up in a different way, it was dressed differently to the point of being unrecognizable. What prompted me to the possibility of a functioning depression was that after moving about my day-to-day, in my downtime I would just lay on the floor neglecting myself. After being prayed over and God calling depression out, I made the decision to not foster an environment for it to grow.

 

What are you doing or not doing that may provide a nourishing environment for depression to thrive?

 

Let me encourage you…sometimes we go through these very dark places and we don’t know how to come out of them. Sometimes we will stay in that place but put on this brave front for everybody else leading people to never suspect that we are struggling with something so dark and heavy.

 

Let me just tell you that there is indeed Hope, and the first step to coming out on the other side of depression is admitting that there’s a problem. 

 

Psalm 42:11 

 Why, I ask myself, are you so depressed? Why are you so upset inside? Hope in God! Because I will again give him thanks, my saving presence and my God.

 

 I didn’t know how to heal and mother at the same time, but I figured it out. It started by talking about it. By the grace of God, I’m able to foster a healthy space for other moms to do the same in Heart 2 HEaRts.

 

If you stay in a place of denial you’ll never face the true problem, but if you acknowledge that there is a problem then you know that you can indeed get help for it because it has been identified in your life.

 

Trauma

Trauma

Trauma defined is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. For some of you who have been rocking out with me for a little bit reading through the blogs and everything else like that you’ll remember that I mentioned time and time again that I’ve experienced some trauma. What you also might take note of is that I never mentioned what that trauma was. Well, I think it’s about time that I opened up about it.

Divorce.

After 10 years of marriage and five children, I went through a divorce. It wasn’t ugly, but it was devastating. I didn’t know that I could endure pain like that. I would dare to liken it to death.

 It feels like a part of you dies.

There were days where I didn’t know if I was going to get on the other side of it. Again, not because the process was ugly but because the weight of caring for five children a majority of the time on my own, while actively healing was very heavy for me. I can’t speak on anybody else’s experience, and as many times as I’ve tried to tell myself you’re not the only one who has gone through this and you won’t be the last person to go through it I refuse to downplay the very real feelings of pain, anxiety, and heaviness of taking on such a load. 

There was so much that I had to face about myself leading up to the finalization of the divorce, and that for me probably was the hardest part. For pretty much my entire marriage, give or take a year, I hadn’t worked. I was a homemaker. In those years I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, I found my identity in taking care of my family. 

I had no idea who I was. 

Have any of you ever been there?

There are so many what if‘s that go through your mind when you are going through something like this because you don’t know what’s gonna come of it. You have no idea what moves somebody who you’ve been so close to for a good portion of your life is going to do because they feel like a whole new person at that time. Now, this is not to say that my ex-husband was being horrible or anything like that, but again these are just thoughts that run through your mind in that place and it ran through mine. 

There were five main things that I learned about myself that God had to reveal to me for me to heal.

  1. I was afraid to be alone.
  2. Loneliness thought it was my friend.
  3. I felt abandoned as a little girl. This stemmed from a traumatic experience for me in my childhood.
  4. I had a fear that I would never amount to anything.
  5. I didn’t value myself and I felt like I would never get it right.

Now a lot of memes on social media joke that when a woman goes through a divorce she finishes school, works multiple jobs, is taking care of her kids, and making bank. 

I would like to meet her and ask sis, “are you really okay?”

LOL, I’ve seen plenty of single mothers just be as strong as they want to be, but I also noticed that some of them never fully face everything that happened to them. Some of them will either avoid relationships or jump right back into another one without giving themselves time to process what happened. I refused to do that. It wasn’t because I couldn’t move on, but rather I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go through this again.

Has there ever been a time in your life where the pain was just so unbearable that it was easier to ignore and sweep the problem under the rug to avoid the realities of the pain?

If you refuse to face the hard things in one relationship and go into another one you will face those same hard things in the next relationship because you never properly healed the first time, albeit it may be packaged differently next time.

To be honest, I’m in awe of God. I sit back and think about all the events that have occurred, all the pain that I’ve faced and I’m pretty amazed that I had such a peaceful divorce. All glory to Jesus. 

 In my mind no matter what happened, no matter what was said I refused to ruin my witness(of who Jesus is in my life) for anyone. Let’s be clear there were plenty of hiccups along the way. God checked me a few times. Remember, I almost walked away from my family. There were times where I felt like I was going to lose my mind but glory to God I’m still standing. 

One of the biggest pieces of advice that I can give anyone who goes through something as heavy as a divorce or as painful as a break up is to identify what season you are in. 

 

“There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven—”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I spent quite some time racking my brain trying to figure out certain things, trying to figure out how I was going to make it work but all God wanted me to do was rest in Him. I mean y’all, I went out and went on three job interviews. I was offered two of them. Keep in mind I haven’t worked in almost 10 years, but they offered me positions with high pay and benefits. Ultimately the job that I accepted I walked in and interviewed and applied the same day, went through a two-week interview process, and was offered the position.

Worthiness and valuable.

Although God didn’t want me to work in that season, I believe he allowed me to take the position to show me that I was more than what I thought that I was and I had more value than I thought that I did. I left that job after about a month. From the time the job started up until my last day, I had a horrible sinus infection. This thing would not go away. I kid you not the day I left, was the day I begin to feel better. Instantaneously, I knew I had been outside of God’s will. Sometimes we go through life and we make decisions that are not in God’s will, but trust that God will always steer you right back on the right track if you let him.

My employer was such a blessing. They let me leave immediately, they prayed with me and gave me holiday pay that I wasn’t qualified for. Keep in mind this wasn’t a faith-based business. The funny part is I was offered another job with a higher position at another school, but I knew that it wasn’t right for me. Realizing I was in a season of manna, it dawned on me that God was sustaining me. Even when I didn’t know where provision was going to come from, God came through for me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Now He’s allowed me to serve others with what He has poured into me in that time of healing. No one should have to go through a time like that alone, but often out of embarrassment, shame, or just not finding anyone to relate to what you’re going through we often do…

I just want you to know that you don’t have to.

One thing I noticed was that out of all the groups out there, I couldn’t find one with everything I was looking for, so I created one! 

If you’re looking for a community go here and sign up. For a more private setting schedule a Heart 2 HEaRt.

There is indeed abundant life after this… sometimes you just need a little help getting there.

Me? Commitment Issues?!

Me? Commitment Issues?!

It’s been a while but I’m glad to be back. You won’t BELIEVE all the nonsense that’s been happening…well maybe you would cause ‘RONA decided it wanted to halt everything in our lives forreal. 

It has been like that uninvited uncle….you know the one… the one who comes, eats all the food, gets waaay too close for comfort but then just lingers around in everybody business….like who sent you?!! 

I don’t know about y’all but this quarantine has definitely stretched me in ways I didn’t know I would be. Okay so quick story. Before the shelter at home order was set in place,we were already a homeschooling household. So when I heard about the order I’m like aight cool this is my everyday life lol but boy was I unprepared to face the very thing I’ve been living with my entire life…

MYSELF.

So the good Lord decided that this would be the best time to dig deep, you know get all in my business and check me daily. Cool, you know? I’m no stranger to the Lord giving me my whole entire life during prayer but He had more that He wanted to deal with and to be honest I WAS NOT THE LEAST BIT PREPARED. Do you wanna try and guess what He wanted to address first … go ahead and guess.

If you guessed fear you would be absolutely correct, but not just any fear. He wanted to address  the many what if’s I had ever so kindly mentioned to Him. The what if’s that were standing in the way of me making any type of “high risk” commitment. The Lord labeled them as “irrational fears”. If I can be honest with myself… it is indeed irrational fear. I have no idea if anything will work out unless I actually try it FIRST. How many of us can really be honest with ourselves? How many of us can admit that we act irrationally? We jump to conclusions or make decisions based off of what if’s and not on WHAT IS?! You can’t possibly know if something will actually work out unless you do two things:

  1. Try it first.
  2. Work it!

Matthew 7:7-7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Earlier I mentioned that the “what if’s” were standing in the way of making any “high-risk” commitments, now I’ve never been the one not to commit. I had been married for 10 years. Commitment for me has always come with ease as I can be extremely loyal, but God brought something to my attention a while back that I almost forgot He said. He reminded me that I was afraid of committing to anything considered high risk because my marriage failed. Now He wasn’t saying my marriage failed, but MY PERCEPTION was that it did. He reminded me that nothing on an unstable foundation will be able to stand. Then He began to talk to me about taking risks.

Truth moment. 

I have never really been one to take risks. However, 2018 life just seemed like one big ball of uncertainty and risk! I’ve always been overly cautious in the past, but God has a way of allowing you to go through situations that show you yourself. 

Risky Business

In 1 Samuel 25 there’s an account of a wife, Abigail, who made a risky decision to go behind her husband Nabal( literally means fool in Hebrew) and approach the next anointed king of Israel. See her husband was foolish and made a poor decision that would have cost the people in her household their lives. A young man came to her and told her what her husband had done and she immediately with great wisdom sent gifts of peace and went to the man of God, David. He repented of what he was going to do and sent her home in peace. Her foolish husband would soon die in his foolishness, and ultimately Abigail would become the upcoming king’s wife.

Risky is defined as: full of the possibility of danger, failure, or loss.

God said to me, Do you think she would have been positioned to be a king’s wife if she was too afraid to do anything on behalf of her family? No! She would have missed out on that blessing and would have died in that place along with her foolish husband. 

Risk will cost you the life that you’ve already built, the one which has allowed you to be comfortable in “that’s good enough”. 

The question you have to ask yourself is, “Do I wanna stay in this place, or do I want greater?” 

Really unpack that…

Will the very thing you’ve been settling for be the death of your dream, purpose, and destiny?

Familiarity often feels like safety because it’s predictable. However, familiarity can be deadly when you settle into your expectations because you’ve become comfortable there. Familiarity can kill clarity under certain circumstances.  When what you are facing doesn’t look like what you are used to, you may begin to feel confused. That feeling of confusion usually leads to feeling stuck or perhaps even making unprofitable decisions. 

Trust me when I say I have made both lol. 

When hurt and uncertainty are coupled together you go into this full on panic mode. Thinking clearly goes out the window and survival and desperation sets in. Thankfully for me, God anchored me so I didn’t jump too far off the deep end. I did, however, learn some valuable lessons. 

One of which was obedience paves the way for blessings to be released!

See God catapulted me into purpose in the midst of my pain. I had no choice but to trust Him. I put one foot in front of the other everyday. I made hasty decisions out of fear, set boundaries with my ex-husband I wasn’t used to, got jobs He wouldn’t let me keep, tried half thought out ideas that failed etc.

The most important thing I learned was settling was never going to be an option for me anymore. If I ever decide to settle for anything else in my life it is NOT because it was God’s will for my life but it’s because I chose not to take any risks.

Ecclesiastes 11:6- 6 Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle with your hands in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening planting will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both alike will be good.

What will you choose today?

Sometimes commitment is risky business.

If you’ve been struggling to figure out how to get unstuck or just trying to figure out your next steps but do not have the support you need to make a clear decision, don’t hesitate to book a Heart 2 HeaRt today.

Everything I Was Ever Taught Wasn’t For Me.

Everything I Was Ever Taught Wasn’t For Me.

So let me just start by saying thank y’all for rocking out with me thus far! I greatly appreciate you all for coming back week after week and reading my posts. If this is your first time on the blog, 

WELCOME!! 

I’m so happy to have you join the platform for your reading pleasure. I hope you leave encouraged, motivated, or having learned sumthin!! Lol Okay so enough with the formalities let’s get to it!

Okay, so recently on my Instagram (@_laurieosborne) I made a post about crazy ideas not being crazy at all. I mean really how many of us have thought about great ideas, but haven’t moved to bring them to fruition because you second guess yourself into thinking it was nonsense? I’m sure we all have!

Anywho, so in the caption, I talked about the bread aisle at the store and how although there were many varieties of bread, it did not stop any of the other companies from making their version!

Hear me out. Before you go ahead and nix an idea, try it out first! Even if you find someone with a similar concept, THEY ARE NOT YOU!! They will not execute like you, they will not have your same vision, drive tenacity, kindness, quality, etc. Again, they are not YOU!!

Everything that you’ve ever gone through in your life someone has been there. The difference is your testimony. Though their situations, circumstances, temperaments are different from yours, how you overcame what you faced is unique. Not only that but hold on to this:

You are not and will not be everyone’s cup of tea!

Everyone isn’t your audience. You were uniquely placed here on earth to serve a specific set of people. Those people will benefit the most from what you offer. 

Ecclesiastes 11:5-6 New Living Translation (NLT)

5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

6 Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.

It is so easy to get caught up in the net of doubt and then be weighed down by the heaviness of fear that you never make not one single move toward anything. Don’t go through another year wondering what if that idea could work, or people would buy your product, or if the idea you thought of is something someone would pay for. 

In the spirit of being transparent let me tell on myself. Sooo I love to teach, encourage, and help people through whatever it is they’re facing especially if it something that the Lord has walked me through and I have the victory over. Unfortunately, when it comes to taking a risk I become very analytical. I begin to overthink an entire idea to the point where I won’t move my feet or hands to do a thing, thereby allowing it to become a fleeting thought. 

Guys, there is so much frustration in having ideas, but not executing them and then trying to stick yourself in a box you were never meant to be in. It feels uncomfortable! I never thought about entrepreneurship because that wasn’t the norm where I come from. I was always taught to go to school, get a good job, so you can make good money with good benefits. The Word of the Lord says in:

Jeremiah 29:11 Amplified Bible (AMP)

11 For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Everything I was ever taught wasn’t for me. 

How many of you have ever felt that way, but have been too afraid to go after what you are gifted or called to do?

I first began to feel uncomfortable on a job when I first gave my life to the Lord. Ultimately, I ended up walking off the job because at the time school was more important, and they weren’t willing to work with me. From that point on I wouldn’t get another job until 9 years later. To be honest the thought of getting a job after not working for so long terrified me. I didn’t think I had any skills and I didn’t think I was good enough. All I knew how to do was be a mom( I would later realize, that is one of my best assets). I stayed at that job for about 4 weeks. Within the first 2 weeks, I knew it wasn’t for me. 

Do you know I was sick almost the entire time I worked that job? 

I worked at a daycare, so GERMS. 

IT WAS TERRIBLE. 

The daycare itself was great, but the experience felt harsh considering everything I was already dealing with. I’m like God, what should I do? At this point, the childcare I had setup was about to change, so I had to secure means of care, which I did.

See the enemy is cunning. He will set up a seemingly great opportunity, but you have to be vigilant enough to know when it’s a trap. The school where my children would attend would have been fully paid for, closer to my house, and they offered me a full time lead teacher position(I was a high paid floater at the other job). Everything sounded great, but ultimately I declined the offer and resigned from my job. 

God revealed to me that I allowed the pressure of others to convince me I needed a job. This was the first time that God began to deal with me settling. 

Settle defined is to accept or agree to(something that one considers to be less than satisfactory).

Let me ask you, “ What have you settled for lately?” 

  • A dead-end job?
  • A good job with high pay but no room for growth?
  • A toxic relationship because you’re too afraid to be alone?
  • Of things being good enough? You know, so you’re sure you don’t rock the boat because you don’t know your self-worth.

Whatever it is that you’ve been settling for I guarantee it has not been worth your peace.

Everything that I had settled for up and until that point wasn’t worth my peace, so I decided to take a chance on myself. I dove headfirst into entrepreneurship. I would love to tell you everything worked out and I hit the ground running, but I didn’t.

I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know my purpose. I didn’t have clarity. I was broken. I was desperate, and I was overwhelmed. 

The business failed. 

From that point on the transition began…. But I’ll go into more detail in the next post…

Before you go let me just implore you to do this, evaluate your why. Why are you where you are? Is it bringing you peace or stealing it? Are you settling in your current situation? If so, why?

Why haven’t you put your hands to work? You don’t know what will come of it! 

Remember you are NOT them. 

You may not be everyone’s cup of tea but you are someone’s.

 The moment you decide that you are worthy and that your story will help someone, whether you share it through a brand, service, or product… 

you’ll realize that you are worth being heard and you are worth showing up for yourself.

Intimacy Issues…

Intimacy Issues…

Okay, can I get personal with y’all real quick? I was excited about 2020. You know it’s a new year, the turn of a new decade and I wanted to embrace everything that God has in store for me. I sat with Him and wrote out the instructions that He gave me allat. I was committed to following His lead…..but you know life happens. I began to deal with feelings of forgiveness for someone who was very close to me. Here I was thinking to myself, HOW? Like I thought I was over this. I thought I had forgiven them but I just felt heavy like the situation was more complex than I would have liked to admit. Although I was determined to not “stuff” any of my feelings, I was having a hard time processing them. 

As much as I needed to take this before God, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. 

Boom, there goes those darn intimacy issues again. 

Aight cool… at this point I knew the problem, I had thought about it for a few days, I’d unpacked it! You would think that I would lay it before God, right? NOPE. I chose to sit and eat ice cream and chips while binge watching “The Resident”. Eventually I formally sat down and journaled what I’d been feeling, so I could seek God’s face in our private time but even then I felt negative. Although He poured into, encouraged, and advised me on how I needed to proceed, I was too busy focused on how I was feeling and what I felt like I couldn’t do anymore regardless of if I’ve seen someone else do it or not!

What was wrong with me? Why weren’t things falling into place? Where was my motivation and discipline? Truth be told, I didn’t have any. Here I was, feeling low on energy, couldn’t bring myself to talk to my best friend(God), and these kids were trying me. I WAS OVER ALL OF IT! 

How often do we get excited at the thought and possibility of something new, that we do not consciously and intentionally change in order to accommodate the very things we desire? Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you were being considered for something like a promotion, or God has told you that He was going to elevate you, but you found yourself feeling like you were in the same place or it didn’t happen in the time you thought it would?

Joshua 1:9 (NIRV) “Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the LORD your God. I will be with you everywhere you go.”

Here I was in a new year dealing with the same stuff. You know, “New year, new me”. To be honest I felt like a “shifted me”, but with the old me habits. Here’s the thing about change, many of us will not move to change if we are comfortable. Also, sometimes even when we are uncomfortable we will operate the same because that is what we are accustomed to. As humans we tend to be creatures of habit, we like to stick to routines; our comfort zone if you will. 

Let me ask you these two questions:

  1.  When has real change ever occurred in your comfort zone? 
  2. If comfort would cost you the promise or your life, would you still choose to stay the same way?

Aight let me kick it to you like this. The Lord told the children of Israel that He was going to give them a land flowing with milk and honey. This proposed land was lit. He was intentional about making sure that a leader would be raised up from their own people even if He wasn’t raised by his own parents. 

Cue in Moses. 

Moses was raised as an Egyptian,got in some trouble, left Egypt  but when the time was right, God sent Moses back into Egypt in order to lead his people out of bondage. 

Moses did just that.

 Although the children of Israel came out of Egypt and witnessed the mighty hand of God… they still complained. They saw the miracles, signs, wonders and they still insisted on having their own way. Eventually God got so fed up with the murmuring and complaining, that he allowed them to wander 40 years in the wilderness. The journey should have taken 40 days, but again they refused to change. 

Now see God is not a liar. He’s only bound by His Word, so He still was going to  fulfill that promise because that land was reserved for them. Being that they disqualified themselves, God wasn’t going to allow stiff necked people( who refused to change) to inherit the goodness of the Promise. Consequently, all but two of that older generation died in the wilderness. You know who got to inherit the promise? The children that were born in the wilderness. 

The two people from the older generation that were spared were Joshua and Caleb. 

See, they were  bold ones! 

They were like listen, we are going to win and we know this already so why we worried about what they look like?!  

Numbers 14:8-9 Amplified Bible (AMP)

8 If the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land which flows with milk and honey. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord; and do not fear the people of the land, for they will be our prey. Their protection has been removed from them, and the Lord is with us. Do not fear them.”

So catch this. Because of fear, all the people were ready to stone them. God was tight! He was like how dare y’all try Me like this?! 

After all He’d done they refused to change their mind, they chose to be ungrateful cowards and complain. 

The result? 

God would have allowed all of the nation to die by disease had Moses not have interceded for them. God had mercy, and instead told them that they wouldn’t see the promised land, their children would possess it, and the other 10 spies who had released that horrible report about not being able to take the land because of the giants there, died by plague. Remember,the only two from that generation that received what God had promised was Joshua and Caleb. Ultimately, Joshua became their leader and led the next generation right into the promised land.

So I ask you again, “If the comfort of what you are used to would cost you your life, and/or all the things that are attached to your purpose and destiny, would you still choose to remain the same?

I don’t know about y’all but I can’t live out this year or live through another decade not ever even touching or walking in who God created me to be.

Change so you can “possess your land too”.