Dear Dad,

by | May 15, 2020 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Dear Dad, 

Thank You for not giving up on me.Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank You for Your love, thank You for grace and mercy. Thank You for a new day to get it right. Thank You for family, thank You for bearing my sins on the cross and taking me off the sacrificing block and putting Yourself in my place. 

(Response) 

You can’t only trust me when you feel it benefits you. You have to trust me even when it doesn’t seem like it benefits you. All things work together for your good, but I don’t think like you. Trust me that I see the whole picture.

How often do we pray from a place that is “self centered”? I would dare to say most of the time. We go to God when we have a problem, we go to God looking for answers, we go to God for comfort, we go to God for a word, we go to God to meet our needs, we go to God out of habit… If we could be honest, if we saw a picture with a little kid with their hand out in front of an adult ,that would be an accurate representation of how we often look before our Heavenly Father. No matter what comes out of our mouths, God looks at the heart. Although initially I only went to God being thankful, God responded in His infinite wisdom by addressing my trust issues.

Can I just tell on myself for a moment. The above prayer was a real prayer and a real response. It was actually the 9th time the Lord answered me while in prayer, that I was privy to anyway. See, I had been keeping a few journals for years, but in 2018 I was introduced to journal praying. The difference in the two, was the wait. When I first started, I would sit and write a dear God prayer, saying what I needed to say, venting, sitting a while, and writing scriptures etc. 

To be honest I typically got up feeling like I didn’t have any real direction from the Lord still. I often wondered why He wouldn’t talk to me. Anyway, fast forward to 2018, I met a girl who introduced me to prayerpy™. The template used for it required journal praying. At that point I figured what did I have to lose. Honestly,nothing.  I was already in the midst of losing everything so this wouldn’t hurt to try. 

I would quickly learn that God had been speaking all along but I wasn’t listening and I was getting up from prayer before he even had a chance to speak! This was a very pivotal point in my life because I realized my relationship with God up to that point had been one sided- my side.  I have the journals with no responses to prove it.  

I am pretty big on being transparent because in this day and age social media paints this pretty picture of people’s lives. All these beautiful feeds of snapshots and filters, but rarely do people actually get real. People will allow you to see what they want you to see… and well I want you to see me. 

That journal entry was written in a time where I was almost at my lowest point, and desperation had set in. I was bearing a pain I didn’t know how to deal with and I wanted answers. Although journal praying was new to me, I wanted to be consistent with it because I was tired of relying on other people to tell me what the Lord said.  Funny thing is I thought God was going to give me some expected answers, but what He began to do was dig deep into places that I didn’t expect Him to go. He dug into my past, He dug into my pain, He dug into my feelings, He scolded me. God pulled things out, to the point where, I remember one day laying in the bed and Him presenting me with something to face. He asked me if I wanted to talk about it, and I was straight like no. I’m not talking about it,  rolled over and went to sleep.

I didn’t understand why God was coming for my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! Like Jesus, why you gotta do me like that?!! C’mon Son.

I say all that in order to highlight some key points from my experience. I hope this may encourage  some of you who are walking through hard places.

Reflections from His response:

  1. You can’t only trust Me when you feel it benefits you. You have to trust Me even when it doesn’t seem like it benefits you.
    1. Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version (NKJV) Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
    2. Trust is not figuring it out, or thinking that how you would do it is the best way. God doesn’t need our help. He already knows the end of a thing, so trust that He has already factored in our stupidity lol. Every disobedient or foolish reaction/ decision, He has already factored in to our unique equation. To be honest, sometimes a situation will look all the way left before it looks right.
  2. All things work together for your good.
    1. Romans 8:28 New King James Version (NKJV) 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 
    2. The above scripture says ALL things, and literally all things work together for our good. Good, bad, ugly and unfortunate remember there is purpose that can come from our pain even if we can’t see it at first.
  3.  I don’t think like you
    1. Isaiah 55:8 New King James Version (NKJV) 8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
    2. Although we have been swayed by society into thinking that ultimately we know what’s best for our own lives. Honestly, without the Holy Spirit we really view situations from an emotional, traumatic and often illogical place. God is omniscient and we are not. Simply put we’re not God, God is God aaaand

Trust me that I see the whole picture

-God