Will the real you please stand up….

Will the real you please stand up….

Will the real you please stand up?!!….. Wait you don’t know who that is do you? It’s okay, I didn’t either. It took a process of healing and unpacking all the hurt, pain, and frustrations that had shaped who I was over the course of over 10 years in order to uncover and realize who I TRULY was. 

Often we settle into who we think we are rather than actually living who we really are. Many of us have experienced personal trials, tribulations, and traumas. From every life event, we experience we develop a response to. Often our responses are birthed in an effort to self protect which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, when we do not heal from the things that shatter our perception of the different aspects of our world, we begin to view life through those broken pieces. Such broken perspectives will shape how we act, respond and show up in life. 

Typically when you believe something that pertains to your identity(who you think you are), you begin to display mannerisms and actions of who that person is. For example, I used to say that I was shy, that’s who I am. The truth was that I was afraid of conflict or situations that I would feel uncomfortable in. This caused me to try and be the quietest one in the room, or avoid people and situations that would bring too much attention to me.

The funny part is by nature I am a talker. I LOVE to converse, but I would only converse with those I was comfortable with. 

The keyword in the last sentence is COMFORTABLE. Comfortable lies within our comfort zones. I believe our comfort zones are built in an effort to self protect, the problem is that you can only GROW but so much within a confined space. 

How long will you stay in your confined space?

The confinement is hindering your greatness. The time is now to make a choice to grow beyond where you’ve allowed yourself to be limited. Where do you desire to be in your life? What has hindered you thus far? What is something about yourself that you want to change, or you think has hindered your growth thus far?

Whatever it is, I want to help you move past the place of hindrance. This week I kick off my FREE, “Who Am I Really” challenge. This will be a seven day challenge where during the challenge you will:

  • Tackle what has you stuck and how it has affected your identity.
  • Equip you with the 5 Steps to get you unstuck and walk in your true identity.
  • Implement new strategy with clarity

Don’t wait any longer, sign up here today and walk in the freedom and greatness God has called you to.

Hey family! I’ve been a bit MIA because, well, LIFE.,

 

It’s just literally been overwhelming and frustrating. There’s a lot of things that I’ve been facing that have really been stretching me these past few weeks and 2021 JUST started. 

God most certainly is NOT playing when it comes to growth and His children in this hour. I’m going to be transparent. I’m one of those children right now who has their arms folded across their chest and shaking their head “NO!” 

 

Mamas, y’all know those kids!

 

The ones who are either willingly being defiant or the ones who are extremely overwhelmed and because they do not know how to respond to the situation, they do what they can, and that’s to assert their feelings. They’re saying no because they really do not want to, or they’re unsure of how to do something or what may come next if they actually do what is asked of them.

 

Which one am I? Honestly, I don’t know… 

 

Maybe a mixture of both.

 

Coping in my own way has been my go-to, albeit unproductive; I have come to this place where I know what to do but don’t know what to do. Sounds a bit confusing but let me explain. I know what to do as far as drawing near to the Lord; however, I don’t know what to do as far as taking the first steps. Really I’ve been wallowing in checking out. 

 

Operating in autopilot 

 

It’s not the most productive thing to do, but the amount of stretching I’ve been facing these last few days have been wildly uncomfortable. There’s nowhere to retreat, and there’s everything to avoid; as comforting as it has been, it is very dangerous for two reasons.

 

  1. The more you sit in your feelings, the more you lose sight of the truth that God cares about every little detail of your life, no matter how small.
  2. The spirit of condemnation begins to comfort you. Condemnation begins to speak to you reminding you of the “bad” job you are currently doing. Reminding you of all you could have accomplished but haven’t. 

Over the past five days, I’ve gotten two essential reminders. 

 

  1. Grace is something that we must give to ourselves the same way we give to others. Remind ourselves that God gives us grace even in our brokenness or rebellion. Grace is defined as free and undeserved love that never quits. God gives us the grace to be able to say, “Yeah, I messed up, but I’m not cast away. I’m still loved, and it’s not because of anything I did, but because of who God is.”
  2. God cares for us. Even when we want a turkey sandwich.

1 Peter 5:7 AMP

 

7 casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].

 

Now you’re probably wondering what in the world does a turkey sandwich have to do with anything. Well, storytime!

 

When I was in the hospital in 2017 after giving birth, the nurses would bring these food boxes with juice, snack, and a sandwich. Although I had explicitly asked for turkey, one of the nurses brought me ham even though I do not eat pork. Well, one night I requested a box but forgot to specifically asked for turkey. In my mind, I quietly hoped for a turkey sandwich. I was too tired to bother the nurses again to get me anything specific. Well, do you know that when my box finally came, it was the turkey? At that moment, the Lord reminded me that I care about every little thing….even quiet wants of a turkey sandwich.

 

So let me encourage you all today even when you don’t have the words to pray, even if you’ve felt you have strayed, even when you can’t encourage yourself, just know it doesn’t matter what you have or have not done; give yourself grace, the way God gives you grace every single day. Every single day is an opportunity to go back to God and allow Him to heal the broken places. Every single day is a new opportunity for the Lord to handle every care you have. Every single day is an opportunity for God to be Lord in your life. 

 

John 3:16-18

16 “For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] [a]only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Whoever believes and has decided to trust in Him [as personal Savior and Lord] is not judged [for this one, there is no judgment, no rejection, no condemnation]; but the one who does not believe [and has decided to reject Him as personal Savior and Lord] is judged already [that one has been convicted and sentenced], because [b]he has not believed and trusted in the name of the [One and] only begotten Son of God [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, the One who alone can save him].

 

Boundaries

Boundaries

You ever thought a lack of boundaries could put you in a position where you’d miss out on something amazing?! Well, neither did I. I always looked at boundaries as something you set in place for children, so they know what is expected of them… you know what they can’t do from what they can. Boundaries are so much more than that. Boundaries set the stage for your needs to be met. Boundaries cultivate better relationships. Boundaries teach you how to put yourself first. Ultimately, boundaries create an atmosphere for safety and for you to feel safe.

For over seven years, I gave away my peace. I said yes to things when I really wanted to say no. Situation after situation; I devalued my feelings to maintain peace. As much as it made other people happy, it built blocks of frustration that I would diminish and tuck away, downplaying the magnitude of a mounting pattern, particularly in my marriage.  

Shrinking and compromise.

The more I dimmed my light to appease others, the more I compromised who I was and what I could do. Walking through a place of invalidation and insecurity with the hopes that everyone’s needs will be met is called people-pleasing. The danger in people-pleasing is that you’ll become so comfortable doing it that you don’t realize there’s anything wrong with your behavior. Although people may praise you for being “kind” or “nice,” they’ll inadvertently or possibly even intentionally walk all over you like a doormat.

When I wrote “Power Of A Made Up Mind,” the Lord had been dealing with me with setting boundaries and maintaining them even when it made other people upset. I was uncomfortable, but I knew that I was even more uncomfortable settling for the person I thought I was rather than the person God called me to be. Past traumas had opened the door for a spirit of fear to come in through wounds. As I walk through this place of healing through motherhood, God has been showing me how vital walking in a made-up mind and firmly maintaining boundaries opens the door for the blessings He’s promised me. On the other hand, He has also highlighted how a lack of boundaries will position you to forfeit your blessings.

For example, Three ways you forfeit your blessings when you don’t set boundaries with people are:

  1. Giving away your peace. God said He gives you peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). When you lack healthy boundaries, essentially, you’re giving away your peace, which is also your guard. People will do whatever you let them do to you, resulting in frustration and feelings of confusion.
  2. You forfeit your freedom. The bible tells us whom the Son set free is free, indeed (John 8:36). Freedom means that nothing holds you down or keeps you bound; however, you often walk in people bondage when you lack boundaries with people. You become focused on what they might say or do to you if they don’t get their way. Sadly, you fail to realize that their needs are met at your expense.
  3. You walk in instability. James 1:7-8 speaks of the double-minded man being unstable in all of his ways. When you are harboring hurt on the inside, you operate from a place of brokenness. Our actions stemming from this brokenness is an indication that healing needs to occur. We are often unaware of the need to be healed, so we think that our actions toward people and situations are normal.

Just to recap, peace is a blessing; freedom is a blessing, and stability is a blessing! All of these blessings are promised to us in God’s word, meaning that they are true and available to all who want them. 

The next time someone tries to bully, manipulate, or take advantage of you and you start to justify their reasoning over your valid feelings as yourself, this question:

Am I willing to forfeit my blessings for their peace?

New Year, New Mind

New Year, New Mind

Last year I wrote a piece entitled, “New year, New you? Nah, Same You” needless to say, many people make a New Year resolution to change and, well, stay the same. We continue year after year, screaming the upcoming year is our year, but then end the year with lessons learned and almost in the same place the previous year. What happened? To be honest, life happens. Things you couldn’t possibly have imagined nor planned for happened, and what did you do? Rolled with the punches. You bobbed and weaved and rolled with the punches of life so you wouldn’t get knocked on your butt. Undoubtedly we cannot plan for the unexpected things in life, but we can make adjustments to the things in life we can control. The two common things many of us deal with in life are money and relationships. 

Year after year, we settle in jobs, avoid taking chances in our businesses, or complain about positions that bring us no joy. If we can be honest, some of us could be in many different positions if we would make some adjustments in how we move. For example, you could train to move up in positions for the company you work for, thus eliminating the need to complain about your job. For entrepreneurs, you can discipline yourself to operate your business more efficiently to start seeing the results you desire. Lastly, quitting the dead-end job, you’ve been afraid to leave. Still, you’ve allowed fear to hold you back in a constant black hole of “what if.” Well, what if you have something better waiting for you on the other side of your decision?

Furthermore, many of you have been unhappy and unsatisfied in terms of relationships but have been waiting for things to change. Change requires actions. What actions are you taking? For those of you who hear God, what is He saying concerning your situation? Sometimes we will stay in or do nothing to fix unfruitful relationships because we are too afraid or too comfortable in dysfunction.

Change your mind. Hear me, CHANGE YOUR MIND. When you change your mindset, you’ll change your attitude concerning areas in your life that have been unfruitful and frustrating. A limiting mindset will stunt your growth and freedom in just about every area of your life. There are a lot of things you can not control in this life…2020 showed us that. The one thing I have accepted, I can undoubtedly control is how I view life and my actions stemming from those views. It may have taken me going through a divorce, laying down my marriage, leaving two good-paying jobs, and becoming a mom raising five children on her own to learn how to change my mind, but I have! 

The freedom, abundance, and love I desired to see in my life required me to take action. It required me to do things I’d never done. For me, the writing was a part of my process. God used writing and my voice, two areas of my life where I felt insecure, to move me into a place of fruitfulness in Him.

Do you want to know what the real blessing is? The real blessing is now I am in a position to help others. I have the privilege to serve and encourage those who are where I was. It all started with the decision to change my mind concerning how I viewed my life and actually doing what God instructed me to do, even when it didn’t make sense.

Now ask yourself, what’s holding me back from where I want to be and what I desire to see in my life.

James 1:23-25 AMP

23 For if anyone only listens to the word [a]without obeying it, he is like a man who looks very carefully at his natural face in a mirror; 24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he immediately forgets [b]what he looked like. 25 But he who looks carefully into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and faithfully abides by it, not having become a [careless] listener who forgets but [c]an active doer [who obeys], he will be blessed and favored by God in what he does [in his life of obedience].

Love: Emotion or Choice

Love: Emotion or Choice

Love is something all of us crave in some way, shape, or form. There have been events that have occurred in our lives where many of us have closed our hearts from receiving or giving love to protect ourselves from being hurt again.

Too often, people in our lives who were meant to teach us how to love by extending love to us sadly have failed in that department. Typically this starts in one of the most basic relationships we have, and that’s in the family, namely with our parents. If we could be honest, some of our parents lacked affection, rarely said they loved us or loved us with conditions while saying their love was unconditional. 

Really, what were we to do with that?!!

How were we supposed to learn how to effectively love when we never had a real example of what love looked like? 

 

As a millennial mom, I’ve realized that there are some things surrounding love that our parents had to try and figure out when they navigated parenthood. Unfortunately, many of the broken ways of the previous generation influenced how they moved when parenting us. As a mom, I’ve tried to be very intentional about how I parent, and that includes taking a self-inspection of how I teach, influence, and love on my children.

 

Have any of you noticed any mannerisms of your parents that you exhibit when parenting? Are they harmful or helpful? Do you act consciously or unconsciously?

 

Sometimes we do what they’ve done and don’t even notice. 

 

One of the most important things I wanted to do is show my children in terms of love is that love is not a feeling; it is a choice. Even when you do not feel like the other person deserves your love, you can still make a CHOICE to love them well. I wanted them also to understand that love, too, is not harmful. When people do things like hurt you but turn around and say that they love you, to know that that is not true love. What they’ve experienced is an emotional response to whatever that person’s trigger was.

 

 It’s important to teach our children the difference between love and emotion. Emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. In contrast, love is a bit more layered. Not all love is created equal. 

 

Some love is brotherly. 

Some romantic.

Some unconditional.

Some natural/familial.

The type of love we have toward our family is storge, which is a deep caring natural bond that we should walk in with our loved ones. This kind of love is protective, loyal, and can withstand many trials. However, the type of love we all should strive to walk in is agape. This form of love is the highest, being that it is sacrificial. It isn’t predicated on whether or not the other person loves you in return; it is everlasting.

 

The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 TPT:

4 Love is large and incredibly patient.[f] Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous[g] when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. 5 Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated[h] or quick to take offense.[i] 6 Love joyfully celebrates honesty[j] and finds no delight in what is wrong.[k] 7 Love is a safe place of shelter,[l] for it never stops believing the best for others.[m] Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 8 Love never stops loving.[n] It extends beyond the gift of prophecy, which eventually fades away.[o] It is more enduring than tongues, which will one day fall silent. Love remains long after words of knowledge are forgotten.

 

In my personal experience, I’ve found that although this form of love can be tough to walk in, it was much easier to do with my ex-husband than with my children. In “When the Bridge Breaks: Sacrificing a Perverted Promise,” I write about having to sacrifice a perverted form of love that I had settled for while learning and walking in agape love. Since my children were watching me walk out what love should look like, the Lord had me to dig deep in my relationship with them.

Why could I only show love and affection toward them to a certain extent and then shut down? Where was my patience in dealing with their wants, needs, brokenness, or pain? My parents. The answer partially lied in the relationship between my parents and me. How they were able to extend love to me shaped how I loved on my children. Also, it is interesting to note that our children are a lot like us! When you’re faced with parenting versions of yourself, it can be quite difficult considering all you want your children to do is respond how you feel you’d react in a situation. 

Crazy right?!

Often I have to go back to the basics, and that is looking at how Jesus loves. 

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

The way God loves us is the most excellent example of what true love should indeed look like. There was never a thing we had to do to earn His love. He knows everything about us from the womb to our death and still loves us no matter what. We have the freedom just to be, which enables us to extend that same type of love for others. 

 

So I admonish you all to look at yourselves and inspect how you love your children and others. Is there anything from your childhood that has shaped how you love now? Is there anything you can change today to love better tomorrow? If so, do it, and I pray you have the strength to do so.

Unplug and Plug into Something Greater

Unplug and Plug into Something Greater

There has been so much that has happened in 2020. Here we are at the end of the year, reflecting on what has happened and what will happen in the future. Honestly, the Lord has me walking into so much new that I don’t know what to think. If walking by faith and not by sight were a person, they would look like me right now. Just thinking about it has me in awe at how intentional God truly is. In these past two months, I feel like God has been testing my obedience. Not in a small way, either. The children went to visit their dad. I traveled and spoke at my first conference, AAAAND God literally walked me through step by step in delivering a baby. An entire human being!! It was so wild but so rewarding! As exciting as all these events were (which I will fill you in later in other blog posts), I found myself extremely tired and overwhelmed. I planned to go full speed ahead in my business, but God had other plans. He wanted me to rest and focus on myself. I promise you that I did not know what to do with myself for about the first two weeks of being home alone.

Okay, so time to get transparent!! One of the biggest things I struggle with as a mom is SELF-CARE. Taking care of myself is not typically what’s at the forefront of my mind.

 Who else would do all the things that needed attention around the house while tending to the kids if I did?! 

Frankly, that’s the kind of stinkin thinking that I used to operate in until God had to highlight to me that HE DESIRES FOR ME TO REST. He desires for us to take care of ourselves.

In this season of my parenting career lol (seriously though mothering is a full-time job), I realized that I needed to take time for myself so that I didn’t fall apart! There would be no way to be my best self unless I learned to take time for myself. I believe God truly wanted me to receive that memo, so off to dad’s house did the kids go! 

It’s still a daily struggle, but I see that small things make a considerable difference little by little. One thing that I have committed to doing as a part of my self-care routine is making sure my hair gets done. Is it time-consuming to do it myself? Sometimes, especially having to stop to take care of the kids. However, simple protective styles take less time for me to do, and they last a while! Something as simple as doing my hair made me feel good and reduced my stress. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror with this constant visual reminder of what feels like a weight of responsibility.

When was the last time you intentionally took time for yourself?

How good will you be to anyone, including your family, if you don’t practice self-care?!

Transparent moment. I’ve been overwhelmed to the point of not wanting to take care of myself. After doing everything else, I would unplug, and that’s it. It didn’t help because I would become frustrated when I had to switch modes and begin doing again. Unplugging can’t just be where we stop.

Godly self-care means unplugging but plugging back into something bigger.

Jesus is our most excellent example of how to live. He was constantly on the move but what He was intentional about was rest. Specifically, rest in the presence of His Father. He would often steal away and retreat to commune with His Dad. That’s where He was refreshed and filled.

So while you can engage in one simple task to establish a self-care routine, make sure you don’t neglect your relationship that rejuvenates and refreshes your soul. About 10-15 minutes a day(maybe less) is all you need to challenge yourself to be a better you!

Let’s dig into the list below and commit to doing at least one a day.

What is self-care?

Self- care is when you take an active role in your health by changing behavior and thoughts to contribute to your well being. Not only that, but True self-care means casting our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).

What self-care is not:

Time-consuming

Self-indulgent

Selfish

A one-time thing

If you’re constantly drained, snapping at the children, or very forgetful, then self-care may be precisely what you need.

  1. Write affirmations. One of the best things you can do is make declarations primarily rooted in the Word of God and speak them over yourself every day. Doing this increases your faith as well as builds you up as a person. 

Here are some to start:

  • I am calm. (Philippians 4:6)
  • I am beautiful. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
  • I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
  • I am filled with joy. (John 17:13)

Who wouldn’t want a daily reminder that they are loved every day?

  1. Get moving! Exercise 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-HGAYSuOdY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvrcgZ25MWw

  1. Dance Party! This one is self-care, but you can also do it with the kids if you want! Throw on some music and dance to your heart’s desire.
  2. Read. Reading keeps your brain active and increases mental stimulation. Reading Recommendation: When the Bridge Breaks: Sacrificing A Perverted Promise
  3. Go to bed earlier. I’ve found that going to bed earlier has added time to my day. The earlier you sleep, you may wake up earlier, giving you more alone time to take care of yourself without little ones running under you.
  4. Do NOTHING. Instead of trying to complete your super long to-do list, don’t. Unless it’s dire, those things will still be there tomorrow. Take some time to decompress mentally.
  5. Journal. Journaling allows you to pour out your heart and organize your thoughts on paper. Journaling can also strengthen your relationship with God because it’s a way to settle yourself quietly to hear His voice.
  6. Pamper Yourself. Pampering yourself doesn’t have to be grandiose. Try that new nail polish you’ve been eyeing. Give yourself a facial, or do your hair. Just tweaking your appearance will give you whole new confidence!
  7. Unplug. Try putting your phone on, do not disturb. Take care of yourself by guarding your mental health, or spend some quiet time with the children watching a show.
  8. Call a friend. Catch up with a good friend. Reach out because sometimes it feels good just being able to open up to someone about how you’re feeling.

As all of these are great Godly self-care means unplugging but plugging back into something bigger.

Back, Back like I Never Left!!

Back, Back like I Never Left!!

I’ve missed you all soooo much!! (Singin) But I’m back like I neva left

So I had to take a step back from posting. I’ve been writing, but just haven’t been posting. I know, I know that seems counterproductive considering this is a blog, but I’m running a one-woman show and I got chilrens to care for LOL. 


Soooo let me catch you up!

At the end of August, the children started back to school and although their homeschool center is open, I decided that virtual schooling would be best for the rest of the year. In the past, I’ve done the homeschooling by my lonesome but CHILE I was NOT about to take on that burden alone in this season of my life. Plus, I needed some time to focus on me during the day and that is hard to do when you are cooking, cleaning, schooling, working, and trying not to have an absolute meltdown because 5 little humans are all learning at the same time! Kudos to the moms out there who are doing it and maintaining, but as for me and my house we shall outsource this task. Amen? Amen.

 

Also, I was honored to participate in my first webinar! Whoop, Whoop! The experience was great but OH THE ENEMY TRIED IT! So right before I was supposed to logon, my desktop decided it didn’t want to cooperate. In turn, I had to scrap Plan A and figure out a Plan B with minutes to spare! I grabbed my laptop and put it on my desk in front of my desktop. The desktop screen doubled as extra lighting and ya girl was good to go. Talk about a close call! Unfortunately, while watching the replay I realized there was this white glow on my face which made my lips look ashy! HAHAHA Oh Well.

 

It was interesting, to say the least, but I logged in on time and the Lord had His way and that was all that mattered! 

 

If I could be honest, mentally I needed to take a step back. Typically I’m always considered the “strong friend”, but I didn’t feel very strong. I found myself struggling to show up for myself again. This stemmed from me always feeling like I needed to do all the things. My plate always seems so full, and the Lord had to remind me that I was never meant to bear this load on my own. 

 

Sometimes as mothers, we feel like we need to do everything, or nothing would ever get done. Many of us really need to stop this faulty way of thinking. It is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. 

 

How can you possibly do all the things when you haven’t taken the time to take care of you?! 

 

It doesn’t work. 

 

You have to begin to ask yourself, where does this behavior stem from? Was it what I saw growing up? Am I taking on other people’s expectations of me, while ignoring my own needs? Am I afraid to relinquish control?

 

For me it was pressure.

 

It was the pressure of feeling like, how am I going to make this all work?

 

After trying to figure it out on my own and some complaining, God kindly checked me. 

 

He said, “There is no possible way that you could do all that I called you to do without My help! How vain is it to set out to accomplish My will, your way? In your strength, on your time. Has it worked? No, it hasn’t.

 

Proverbs 3:5(AMP)

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart

And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

 

Basically, He summed everything up with keeping your focus on me. Well, He sure told me…but oh the FREEDOM. Once I was able to clearly see how far I was digging myself into a hole of complaints, I was able to shift my focus back to God. 

 

Sometimes unplugging is necessary, but often we don’t really know how nor where to start. Sometimes we can’t even identify when we need to, but we do recognize something is off. 

 

Hear me…reach out. Don’t be afraid of someone judging you. Don’t be too prideful or embarrassed to admit that you’re not okay. For this reason, I do what I do. No one should have to do life alone. The truth of the matter is many moms lack the support they truly need, for this reason, I became a life coach. 

 

Let me support you. If you’re ready to push past that stuck place you’ve been in, sign up for a Heart2HEaRt session today.

Idolizing the Promise

Idolizing the Promise

HEY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!

I hope you all have been absolutely amazing despite this pandemic, cause CHILE WHEW all the information, fearmongering and decisions to make regarding remote schooling, jobs, resources FEELS like a lot!

I want to encourage you all to just take a step back and weigh your pros and cons, listen to the voice of God, and just make a decision. 

On Monday I did a Live that I was less than enthused about (facepalm), I should have deleted it but the reality is that real life looks like that.

 Trusting GOD without knowing the next steps but holding on to a promise given LOOKS and feels like that sometimes. Obedience is still necessary, your circumstances don’t change God’s stance on what He requires of us when He wills to do tremendous things in our lives. 

1 Cor 2:9

But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

Sometimes it’s so easy to get thrown off track when God is doing something new because that place that your treading through feels UNCOMFORTABLE. You don’t know what to expect, the testing feels hard. Every time you feel like you’re making headway something comes along and pushes you back. It’s like COME ON, is all of this necessary God?

Short answer. 

It is.

James 1:2-4

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [a]patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Before you come into the fullness of some of God’s promises He often will prepare you to step into that place making sure you are equipped to maintain and steward what He’s entrusting you with well. A perfect example of this is in the book of Genesis. So check it, Abraham and his wife Sarah desired a child but she was barren. God gave him the promise of a son. YEARS passed(approximately 25 years) but they were old! 

God was so serious, remember He doesn’t and CANNOT lie.

Sarah and Abraham did try to take the matter into their own hands to make it happen by bringing in a third party. He did have a son by Hagar but God was like Nah fam, that’s not the kid I promised. After that foolish move, it would be another 14 years before their promised son would actually be born. Abraham’s faith was tested even further when God told him to sacrifice his son. Without hesitation, Abraham went to do what God asked of him. He was confident though. Regardless of what he would have to do, He had faith in God that regardless he would return with his son! Abraham got to the point where he was just about to kill him and God stopped him. Now, this probably sounds crazy but God was testing his faithfulness.

Would Abraham have more faith in the promise vs keeping his focus and hope in God?

We know from reading the text that He doesn’t, but how many of us can say that our hope will remain in God as we begin to walk in the promise?

What has God promised you that you are waiting for?

What promise or promises are you currently walking in?

Most importantly what is your faith in?

What is your hope in?

 

If Abraham would have lost what he treasured the most, would he have still been solid?

Would you still be solid?

Exodus 20:3

3 “You shall have no other gods before Me.

 

Anything that takes up your time, attention, the absolute focus of your life becomes your god. It becomes your idol. Sometimes we don’t even realize that the things that are common to our lives: marriages, children, jobs, money, social media, food take our focus and devotion away from God. We get caught up and consumed in the things that we’ve made a priority. 

What has been your priority and focus lately?

Sometimes we’re fully aware of a disconnect but we may not be able to pinpoint where it occurs in our lives. 

Heart 2 HEaRt sessions are designed to help you connect those dots. Book your session today so we can uncover those areas holding you back from growth, clarity, and freedom!

The Process: Depleted

The Process: Depleted

Hey, my beautiful people!!

 

I am so thankful that you all have been rocking out with me while I’ve been covering “The Process” with you all.

For those of you who are new to the blog, WELCOME!!

 

A bit about “The Process”, basically it’s the making of who you were created to be in the Lord and how He takes you through “the process” of uprooting, rearranging, and rebuilding who you really were created to be rather than allowing you to continuously walk in who you’ve been settling for because of your trauma.

 

Every Monday, I go live on Facebook and discuss what will be live on the blog and this Monday past was no exception even though I almost did not lol!

 

Obedience over Emotions though so your girl did what she was instructed to do. You can catch the replay here.

 

RECAP(in order this time):

 

  1. Coming to Terms: So the very first thing God does in this journey of walking in freedom is uncovering the problem and exposing its root.
  2. Trust: The second thing we must do is trust God into the deep broken places that trauma helped shatter.
  3. Give Him the Pieces: Third, we must be willing to give God the pieces of our mess. God can do more with the pieces of our beautifully flawed life than we ever could. Our attempt to put ourselves back together will never compare to the beautiful masterpiece that God ALREADY saw from the BEGINNING.
  4. Submission: Fourth you must fully surrender. Basically saying God I had enough of trying to do it my way, now I’m gonna trust you. By doing this you are saying yes and letting God lead to do it His way. By submitting you are saying… everything you have… everything you are… all of your plans, you’re going to submit them to Him and get underneath His mission.
  5. Depletion: Pouring yourself out.

At no point is ANY of this easy and most assuredly you indeed have a choice on whether you want to go through any of this or not. Jesus gives us the freedom to refuse.

 

My question to you, however, is what would it cost you next?

Proverbs 4:23 KJV

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Every time you make a decision to hold on to the pain, brokenness, unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, fear, etc. a piece of you shatters a bit more and your heart is further troubled. All of this is at the expense of your peace, self-worth, value, destiny, identity, and purpose.

 

Matthew 11:28-29 TPT

28 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me.[a] I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.[b] 29 Simply join your life with mine.[c] Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle,[d] humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me.[e]

In hindsight is it worth it?

 

I admonish you to be depleted.

 

Deplete: to empty of a principal substance

 

The Latin root word deplet means EMPTIED OUT.

 

God wants you to empty yourself out before Him, so you can be healed, whole, and completely FREE.

 

God’s desire is for you to TRY HIM. Stop taking your situation back into your own hands. You’ve tried it your way and you didn’t get far. You built within the confines of a box He never put you in. (This was a part of the Word He gave me on Monday, watch the full word here)

Pour yourself out. Fully DEPLETED. Be FREE.

 

The Process: There Ain’t No Plan B

The Process: There Ain’t No Plan B

So for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been going over “The Process”. I did a live on Monday about submission titled, “There Ain’t No Plan B”, you can catch it here. Initially (like most time) when I get on my live, I have no idea what the Lord is gonna say but He came with some FIRE!!

Whew!

On this journey in becoming who God has created you to be it doesn’t come with ease… there’s some pressing that occurs which almost feels unbearable. I don’t know why some people feel this road is easy or a crutch to reality. If anything this road is full of hardship, laced with HOPE

The Lord allows us to see that although we have the liberty to do whatever it is that we want to do, He illuminates the difference between doing it blindly and doing it with the revelation that: 

  1. We are in a very real spiritual battle whether we realize it or not.
  2. Every action has a reaction or consequence.
  3. Everything that we try and we put together with our own hands and with our own intellect is very limited compared to what God can do with a simple yes from us.

In my live on Monday, I was talking a little bit about Elijah. The Lord provided for Elijah at the Brook. He literally provided just as much as he needed in the morning and just as much as he needed the evening. Elijah was a Prophet of God and there were some things that he had to endure in his process. There were some pressing, molding, and shaping that God had to do with him. There was one instance where Elijah literally said to God, I’m the only one out here that’s not compromised, and doing what you want me to do. 

God checked him real quick. He showed him that although He’d been moving in mighty ways, He was also working behind the scenes quietly.

How often are we faced with issues and we feel like we’re the only ones going through?

It seems like everybody around us is flourishing, flourishing in relationships, flourishing in business, being dope moms, etc, but then you look at yourself and you’re like, what am I doing? I don’t understand. Why haven’t I gotten to a different place by now? The feeling is like at this point in your journey, you’re the only one going through it like that. 

The reality is you’re not the only one. 

Is your situation unique to you? Yes. 

However, your situation, circumstances, tests, trials, and tribulations that you are facing are all necessary to mold you, shape you, and build your character which is needed for your next level. We often pray and ask God for specific things but we are often unprepared to step into the places that we’re asking God to bring us. Unprepared stepping into the blessings that we’ve been praying about or we’ve been thinking about, all while we are trying to manifest it on our own.

This is where submission and surrender come in.

There is absolutely no way for you to step into who you have been created to be until you decide that what you’re doing will never even touch just a taste of what God has in store for you.

1 Corinthians 2:9 New King James Version (NKJV)

9 But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

See typically we desire things that we have seen other people with, things that are common and clearly attainable. Plainly put things that do not go beyond our control. 

In actuality, there are some things that God must birth in your heart. Grandiose ideas that seem impossible! See, society imposes these limitations so that we are conditioned to think we have to achieve a said goal by this age, make such and such happen only if you do “that”. We limit ourselves in certain realms and spheres of influence that God wants to raise us up in because we think that it has to be done a certain way, needs to look like something someone else did, needs to sound like “this” and the reality is that we’re not created to fit in. 

Submission– Yield. Christian submission is to voluntarily yield in love and consider the needs of another more important than one’s own. 

Simply put surrender is basically saying God I had enough of trying to do it my way now I’m gonna trust you, saying yes and letting you led me in doing it your way. By submitting myself to you… everything I have… everything I am… all of my plans, I’m going to submit them to you and get underneath your mission.

Mark 16 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Great Commission

14 Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

I believe many of us think fulfilling this commission looks like being in a pulpit preaching the gospel, but the reality is,

FORGET YOUR PULPIT.

This pandemic has shown us that God can not be confined to nobodies building!! 

God is unique. He’s very very creative, no two people will spread the gospel of Jesus Christ the same way. Everybody has a uniqueness about them and when you become a Christian that doesn’t mean that that uniqueness stops, that you have to die on the inside and put yourself in a box and not be who you were created to be. The false idea that you can’t be “yourself” is often birthed through traumatic events in our past. These events have shaped our minds into accepting or settling for who we think we are based on past wounds that have occurred or have been inflicted on us over the years.

Think of your heart like a piece of glass… every time an issue arises, an offense occurs, or a heart is inflicted with pain, it begins to crack into pieces. We then begin to filter life through those broken pieces. Those pieces comprise our perspective. Through a broken perspective, how can you view life through a healthy filter? 

You’ve been settling because you’ve carried it for so long, and it is tearing you apart.

What if I told you that you don’t have to stay that way?

What if I told you partnering with God could change your whole life, greater than what you’ve been settling for?

I launched Heart 2 HEaRt because I decided to say yes to God and partner with him to do something that He saw in me that I didn’t necessarily see in myself.

Talking is my thing and thoroughly enjoying helping people and solving problems, but I couldn’t see past who I had settled into being to see who He was confident that I was. 

How many of you have felt like there’s more to this life than what you’ve been settling for, you just are unsure of how to uncover what that is?

Don’t go another 5 -10 years not knowing.

Schedule your Heart 2 HEaRt session today, so you can heal and get free.