Intimacy Issues…

by | May 15, 2020 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Okay, can I get personal with y’all real quick? I was excited about 2020. You know it’s a new year, the turn of a new decade and I wanted to embrace everything that God has in store for me. I sat with Him and wrote out the instructions that He gave me allat. I was committed to following His lead…..but you know life happens. I began to deal with feelings of forgiveness for someone who was very close to me. Here I was thinking to myself, HOW? Like I thought I was over this. I thought I had forgiven them but I just felt heavy like the situation was more complex than I would have liked to admit. Although I was determined to not “stuff” any of my feelings, I was having a hard time processing them. 

As much as I needed to take this before God, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. 

Boom, there goes those darn intimacy issues again. 

Aight cool… at this point I knew the problem, I had thought about it for a few days, I’d unpacked it! You would think that I would lay it before God, right? NOPE. I chose to sit and eat ice cream and chips while binge watching “The Resident”. Eventually I formally sat down and journaled what I’d been feeling, so I could seek God’s face in our private time but even then I felt negative. Although He poured into, encouraged, and advised me on how I needed to proceed, I was too busy focused on how I was feeling and what I felt like I couldn’t do anymore regardless of if I’ve seen someone else do it or not!

What was wrong with me? Why weren’t things falling into place? Where was my motivation and discipline? Truth be told, I didn’t have any. Here I was, feeling low on energy, couldn’t bring myself to talk to my best friend(God), and these kids were trying me. I WAS OVER ALL OF IT! 

How often do we get excited at the thought and possibility of something new, that we do not consciously and intentionally change in order to accommodate the very things we desire? Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you were being considered for something like a promotion, or God has told you that He was going to elevate you, but you found yourself feeling like you were in the same place or it didn’t happen in the time you thought it would?

Joshua 1:9 (NIRV) “Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the LORD your God. I will be with you everywhere you go.”

Here I was in a new year dealing with the same stuff. You know, “New year, new me”. To be honest I felt like a “shifted me”, but with the old me habits. Here’s the thing about change, many of us will not move to change if we are comfortable. Also, sometimes even when we are uncomfortable we will operate the same because that is what we are accustomed to. As humans we tend to be creatures of habit, we like to stick to routines; our comfort zone if you will. 

Let me ask you these two questions:

  1.  When has real change ever occurred in your comfort zone? 
  2. If comfort would cost you the promise or your life, would you still choose to stay the same way?

Aight let me kick it to you like this. The Lord told the children of Israel that He was going to give them a land flowing with milk and honey. This proposed land was lit. He was intentional about making sure that a leader would be raised up from their own people even if He wasn’t raised by his own parents. 

Cue in Moses. 

Moses was raised as an Egyptian,got in some trouble, left Egypt  but when the time was right, God sent Moses back into Egypt in order to lead his people out of bondage. 

Moses did just that.

 Although the children of Israel came out of Egypt and witnessed the mighty hand of God… they still complained. They saw the miracles, signs, wonders and they still insisted on having their own way. Eventually God got so fed up with the murmuring and complaining, that he allowed them to wander 40 years in the wilderness. The journey should have taken 40 days, but again they refused to change. 

Now see God is not a liar. He’s only bound by His Word, so He still was going to  fulfill that promise because that land was reserved for them. Being that they disqualified themselves, God wasn’t going to allow stiff necked people( who refused to change) to inherit the goodness of the Promise. Consequently, all but two of that older generation died in the wilderness. You know who got to inherit the promise? The children that were born in the wilderness. 

The two people from the older generation that were spared were Joshua and Caleb. 

See, they were  bold ones! 

They were like listen, we are going to win and we know this already so why we worried about what they look like?!  

Numbers 14:8-9 Amplified Bible (AMP)

8 If the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land which flows with milk and honey. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord; and do not fear the people of the land, for they will be our prey. Their protection has been removed from them, and the Lord is with us. Do not fear them.”

So catch this. Because of fear, all the people were ready to stone them. God was tight! He was like how dare y’all try Me like this?! 

After all He’d done they refused to change their mind, they chose to be ungrateful cowards and complain. 

The result? 

God would have allowed all of the nation to die by disease had Moses not have interceded for them. God had mercy, and instead told them that they wouldn’t see the promised land, their children would possess it, and the other 10 spies who had released that horrible report about not being able to take the land because of the giants there, died by plague. Remember,the only two from that generation that received what God had promised was Joshua and Caleb. Ultimately, Joshua became their leader and led the next generation right into the promised land.

So I ask you again, “If the comfort of what you are used to would cost you your life, and/or all the things that are attached to your purpose and destiny, would you still choose to remain the same?

I don’t know about y’all but I can’t live out this year or live through another decade not ever even touching or walking in who God created me to be.

Change so you can “possess your land too”.