Me? Commitment Issues?!

by | May 16, 2020 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s been a while but I’m glad to be back. You won’t BELIEVE all the nonsense that’s been happening…well maybe you would cause ‘RONA decided it wanted to halt everything in our lives forreal. 

It has been like that uninvited uncle….you know the one… the one who comes, eats all the food, gets waaay too close for comfort but then just lingers around in everybody business….like who sent you?!! 

I don’t know about y’all but this quarantine has definitely stretched me in ways I didn’t know I would be. Okay so quick story. Before the shelter at home order was set in place,we were already a homeschooling household. So when I heard about the order I’m like aight cool this is my everyday life lol but boy was I unprepared to face the very thing I’ve been living with my entire life…

MYSELF.

So the good Lord decided that this would be the best time to dig deep, you know get all in my business and check me daily. Cool, you know? I’m no stranger to the Lord giving me my whole entire life during prayer but He had more that He wanted to deal with and to be honest I WAS NOT THE LEAST BIT PREPARED. Do you wanna try and guess what He wanted to address first … go ahead and guess.

If you guessed fear you would be absolutely correct, but not just any fear. He wanted to address  the many what if’s I had ever so kindly mentioned to Him. The what if’s that were standing in the way of me making any type of “high risk” commitment. The Lord labeled them as “irrational fears”. If I can be honest with myself… it is indeed irrational fear. I have no idea if anything will work out unless I actually try it FIRST. How many of us can really be honest with ourselves? How many of us can admit that we act irrationally? We jump to conclusions or make decisions based off of what if’s and not on WHAT IS?! You can’t possibly know if something will actually work out unless you do two things:

  1. Try it first.
  2. Work it!

Matthew 7:7-7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Earlier I mentioned that the “what if’s” were standing in the way of making any “high-risk” commitments, now I’ve never been the one not to commit. I had been married for 10 years. Commitment for me has always come with ease as I can be extremely loyal, but God brought something to my attention a while back that I almost forgot He said. He reminded me that I was afraid of committing to anything considered high risk because my marriage failed. Now He wasn’t saying my marriage failed, but MY PERCEPTION was that it did. He reminded me that nothing on an unstable foundation will be able to stand. Then He began to talk to me about taking risks.

Truth moment. 

I have never really been one to take risks. However, 2018 life just seemed like one big ball of uncertainty and risk! I’ve always been overly cautious in the past, but God has a way of allowing you to go through situations that show you yourself. 

Risky Business

In 1 Samuel 25 there’s an account of a wife, Abigail, who made a risky decision to go behind her husband Nabal( literally means fool in Hebrew) and approach the next anointed king of Israel. See her husband was foolish and made a poor decision that would have cost the people in her household their lives. A young man came to her and told her what her husband had done and she immediately with great wisdom sent gifts of peace and went to the man of God, David. He repented of what he was going to do and sent her home in peace. Her foolish husband would soon die in his foolishness, and ultimately Abigail would become the upcoming king’s wife.

Risky is defined as: full of the possibility of danger, failure, or loss.

God said to me, Do you think she would have been positioned to be a king’s wife if she was too afraid to do anything on behalf of her family? No! She would have missed out on that blessing and would have died in that place along with her foolish husband. 

Risk will cost you the life that you’ve already built, the one which has allowed you to be comfortable in “that’s good enough”. 

The question you have to ask yourself is, “Do I wanna stay in this place, or do I want greater?” 

Really unpack that…

Will the very thing you’ve been settling for be the death of your dream, purpose, and destiny?

Familiarity often feels like safety because it’s predictable. However, familiarity can be deadly when you settle into your expectations because you’ve become comfortable there. Familiarity can kill clarity under certain circumstances.  When what you are facing doesn’t look like what you are used to, you may begin to feel confused. That feeling of confusion usually leads to feeling stuck or perhaps even making unprofitable decisions. 

Trust me when I say I have made both lol. 

When hurt and uncertainty are coupled together you go into this full on panic mode. Thinking clearly goes out the window and survival and desperation sets in. Thankfully for me, God anchored me so I didn’t jump too far off the deep end. I did, however, learn some valuable lessons. 

One of which was obedience paves the way for blessings to be released!

See God catapulted me into purpose in the midst of my pain. I had no choice but to trust Him. I put one foot in front of the other everyday. I made hasty decisions out of fear, set boundaries with my ex-husband I wasn’t used to, got jobs He wouldn’t let me keep, tried half thought out ideas that failed etc.

The most important thing I learned was settling was never going to be an option for me anymore. If I ever decide to settle for anything else in my life it is NOT because it was God’s will for my life but it’s because I chose not to take any risks.

Ecclesiastes 11:6- 6 Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle with your hands in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening planting will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both alike will be good.

What will you choose today?

Sometimes commitment is risky business.

If you’ve been struggling to figure out how to get unstuck or just trying to figure out your next steps but do not have the support you need to make a clear decision, don’t hesitate to book a Heart 2 HeaRt today.