Unplug and Plug into Something Greater

Unplug and Plug into Something Greater

There has been so much that has happened in 2020. Here we are at the end of the year, reflecting on what has happened and what will happen in the future. Honestly, the Lord has me walking into so much new that I don’t know what to think. If walking by faith and not by sight were a person, they would look like me right now. Just thinking about it has me in awe at how intentional God truly is. In these past two months, I feel like God has been testing my obedience. Not in a small way, either. The children went to visit their dad. I traveled and spoke at my first conference, AAAAND God literally walked me through step by step in delivering a baby. An entire human being!! It was so wild but so rewarding! As exciting as all these events were (which I will fill you in later in other blog posts), I found myself extremely tired and overwhelmed. I planned to go full speed ahead in my business, but God had other plans. He wanted me to rest and focus on myself. I promise you that I did not know what to do with myself for about the first two weeks of being home alone.

Okay, so time to get transparent!! One of the biggest things I struggle with as a mom is SELF-CARE. Taking care of myself is not typically what’s at the forefront of my mind.

 Who else would do all the things that needed attention around the house while tending to the kids if I did?! 

Frankly, that’s the kind of stinkin thinking that I used to operate in until God had to highlight to me that HE DESIRES FOR ME TO REST. He desires for us to take care of ourselves.

In this season of my parenting career lol (seriously though mothering is a full-time job), I realized that I needed to take time for myself so that I didn’t fall apart! There would be no way to be my best self unless I learned to take time for myself. I believe God truly wanted me to receive that memo, so off to dad’s house did the kids go! 

It’s still a daily struggle, but I see that small things make a considerable difference little by little. One thing that I have committed to doing as a part of my self-care routine is making sure my hair gets done. Is it time-consuming to do it myself? Sometimes, especially having to stop to take care of the kids. However, simple protective styles take less time for me to do, and they last a while! Something as simple as doing my hair made me feel good and reduced my stress. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror with this constant visual reminder of what feels like a weight of responsibility.

When was the last time you intentionally took time for yourself?

How good will you be to anyone, including your family, if you don’t practice self-care?!

Transparent moment. I’ve been overwhelmed to the point of not wanting to take care of myself. After doing everything else, I would unplug, and that’s it. It didn’t help because I would become frustrated when I had to switch modes and begin doing again. Unplugging can’t just be where we stop.

Godly self-care means unplugging but plugging back into something bigger.

Jesus is our most excellent example of how to live. He was constantly on the move but what He was intentional about was rest. Specifically, rest in the presence of His Father. He would often steal away and retreat to commune with His Dad. That’s where He was refreshed and filled.

So while you can engage in one simple task to establish a self-care routine, make sure you don’t neglect your relationship that rejuvenates and refreshes your soul. About 10-15 minutes a day(maybe less) is all you need to challenge yourself to be a better you!

Let’s dig into the list below and commit to doing at least one a day.

What is self-care?

Self- care is when you take an active role in your health by changing behavior and thoughts to contribute to your well being. Not only that, but True self-care means casting our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).

What self-care is not:

Time-consuming

Self-indulgent

Selfish

A one-time thing

If you’re constantly drained, snapping at the children, or very forgetful, then self-care may be precisely what you need.

  1. Write affirmations. One of the best things you can do is make declarations primarily rooted in the Word of God and speak them over yourself every day. Doing this increases your faith as well as builds you up as a person. 

Here are some to start:

  • I am calm. (Philippians 4:6)
  • I am beautiful. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
  • I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
  • I am filled with joy. (John 17:13)

Who wouldn’t want a daily reminder that they are loved every day?

  1. Get moving! Exercise 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-HGAYSuOdY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvrcgZ25MWw

  1. Dance Party! This one is self-care, but you can also do it with the kids if you want! Throw on some music and dance to your heart’s desire.
  2. Read. Reading keeps your brain active and increases mental stimulation. Reading Recommendation: When the Bridge Breaks: Sacrificing A Perverted Promise
  3. Go to bed earlier. I’ve found that going to bed earlier has added time to my day. The earlier you sleep, you may wake up earlier, giving you more alone time to take care of yourself without little ones running under you.
  4. Do NOTHING. Instead of trying to complete your super long to-do list, don’t. Unless it’s dire, those things will still be there tomorrow. Take some time to decompress mentally.
  5. Journal. Journaling allows you to pour out your heart and organize your thoughts on paper. Journaling can also strengthen your relationship with God because it’s a way to settle yourself quietly to hear His voice.
  6. Pamper Yourself. Pampering yourself doesn’t have to be grandiose. Try that new nail polish you’ve been eyeing. Give yourself a facial, or do your hair. Just tweaking your appearance will give you whole new confidence!
  7. Unplug. Try putting your phone on, do not disturb. Take care of yourself by guarding your mental health, or spend some quiet time with the children watching a show.
  8. Call a friend. Catch up with a good friend. Reach out because sometimes it feels good just being able to open up to someone about how you’re feeling.

As all of these are great Godly self-care means unplugging but plugging back into something bigger.

Back, Back like I Never Left!!

Back, Back like I Never Left!!

I’ve missed you all soooo much!! (Singin) But I’m back like I neva left

So I had to take a step back from posting. I’ve been writing, but just haven’t been posting. I know, I know that seems counterproductive considering this is a blog, but I’m running a one-woman show and I got chilrens to care for LOL. 


Soooo let me catch you up!

At the end of August, the children started back to school and although their homeschool center is open, I decided that virtual schooling would be best for the rest of the year. In the past, I’ve done the homeschooling by my lonesome but CHILE I was NOT about to take on that burden alone in this season of my life. Plus, I needed some time to focus on me during the day and that is hard to do when you are cooking, cleaning, schooling, working, and trying not to have an absolute meltdown because 5 little humans are all learning at the same time! Kudos to the moms out there who are doing it and maintaining, but as for me and my house we shall outsource this task. Amen? Amen.

 

Also, I was honored to participate in my first webinar! Whoop, Whoop! The experience was great but OH THE ENEMY TRIED IT! So right before I was supposed to logon, my desktop decided it didn’t want to cooperate. In turn, I had to scrap Plan A and figure out a Plan B with minutes to spare! I grabbed my laptop and put it on my desk in front of my desktop. The desktop screen doubled as extra lighting and ya girl was good to go. Talk about a close call! Unfortunately, while watching the replay I realized there was this white glow on my face which made my lips look ashy! HAHAHA Oh Well.

 

It was interesting, to say the least, but I logged in on time and the Lord had His way and that was all that mattered! 

 

If I could be honest, mentally I needed to take a step back. Typically I’m always considered the “strong friend”, but I didn’t feel very strong. I found myself struggling to show up for myself again. This stemmed from me always feeling like I needed to do all the things. My plate always seems so full, and the Lord had to remind me that I was never meant to bear this load on my own. 

 

Sometimes as mothers, we feel like we need to do everything, or nothing would ever get done. Many of us really need to stop this faulty way of thinking. It is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. 

 

How can you possibly do all the things when you haven’t taken the time to take care of you?! 

 

It doesn’t work. 

 

You have to begin to ask yourself, where does this behavior stem from? Was it what I saw growing up? Am I taking on other people’s expectations of me, while ignoring my own needs? Am I afraid to relinquish control?

 

For me it was pressure.

 

It was the pressure of feeling like, how am I going to make this all work?

 

After trying to figure it out on my own and some complaining, God kindly checked me. 

 

He said, “There is no possible way that you could do all that I called you to do without My help! How vain is it to set out to accomplish My will, your way? In your strength, on your time. Has it worked? No, it hasn’t.

 

Proverbs 3:5(AMP)

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart

And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

 

Basically, He summed everything up with keeping your focus on me. Well, He sure told me…but oh the FREEDOM. Once I was able to clearly see how far I was digging myself into a hole of complaints, I was able to shift my focus back to God. 

 

Sometimes unplugging is necessary, but often we don’t really know how nor where to start. Sometimes we can’t even identify when we need to, but we do recognize something is off. 

 

Hear me…reach out. Don’t be afraid of someone judging you. Don’t be too prideful or embarrassed to admit that you’re not okay. For this reason, I do what I do. No one should have to do life alone. The truth of the matter is many moms lack the support they truly need, for this reason, I became a life coach. 

 

Let me support you. If you’re ready to push past that stuck place you’ve been in, sign up for a Heart2HEaRt session today.

The Process: There Ain’t No Plan B

The Process: There Ain’t No Plan B

So for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been going over “The Process”. I did a live on Monday about submission titled, “There Ain’t No Plan B”, you can catch it here. Initially (like most time) when I get on my live, I have no idea what the Lord is gonna say but He came with some FIRE!!

Whew!

On this journey in becoming who God has created you to be it doesn’t come with ease… there’s some pressing that occurs which almost feels unbearable. I don’t know why some people feel this road is easy or a crutch to reality. If anything this road is full of hardship, laced with HOPE

The Lord allows us to see that although we have the liberty to do whatever it is that we want to do, He illuminates the difference between doing it blindly and doing it with the revelation that: 

  1. We are in a very real spiritual battle whether we realize it or not.
  2. Every action has a reaction or consequence.
  3. Everything that we try and we put together with our own hands and with our own intellect is very limited compared to what God can do with a simple yes from us.

In my live on Monday, I was talking a little bit about Elijah. The Lord provided for Elijah at the Brook. He literally provided just as much as he needed in the morning and just as much as he needed the evening. Elijah was a Prophet of God and there were some things that he had to endure in his process. There were some pressing, molding, and shaping that God had to do with him. There was one instance where Elijah literally said to God, I’m the only one out here that’s not compromised, and doing what you want me to do. 

God checked him real quick. He showed him that although He’d been moving in mighty ways, He was also working behind the scenes quietly.

How often are we faced with issues and we feel like we’re the only ones going through?

It seems like everybody around us is flourishing, flourishing in relationships, flourishing in business, being dope moms, etc, but then you look at yourself and you’re like, what am I doing? I don’t understand. Why haven’t I gotten to a different place by now? The feeling is like at this point in your journey, you’re the only one going through it like that. 

The reality is you’re not the only one. 

Is your situation unique to you? Yes. 

However, your situation, circumstances, tests, trials, and tribulations that you are facing are all necessary to mold you, shape you, and build your character which is needed for your next level. We often pray and ask God for specific things but we are often unprepared to step into the places that we’re asking God to bring us. Unprepared stepping into the blessings that we’ve been praying about or we’ve been thinking about, all while we are trying to manifest it on our own.

This is where submission and surrender come in.

There is absolutely no way for you to step into who you have been created to be until you decide that what you’re doing will never even touch just a taste of what God has in store for you.

1 Corinthians 2:9 New King James Version (NKJV)

9 But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

See typically we desire things that we have seen other people with, things that are common and clearly attainable. Plainly put things that do not go beyond our control. 

In actuality, there are some things that God must birth in your heart. Grandiose ideas that seem impossible! See, society imposes these limitations so that we are conditioned to think we have to achieve a said goal by this age, make such and such happen only if you do “that”. We limit ourselves in certain realms and spheres of influence that God wants to raise us up in because we think that it has to be done a certain way, needs to look like something someone else did, needs to sound like “this” and the reality is that we’re not created to fit in. 

Submission– Yield. Christian submission is to voluntarily yield in love and consider the needs of another more important than one’s own. 

Simply put surrender is basically saying God I had enough of trying to do it my way now I’m gonna trust you, saying yes and letting you led me in doing it your way. By submitting myself to you… everything I have… everything I am… all of my plans, I’m going to submit them to you and get underneath your mission.

Mark 16 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Great Commission

14 Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

I believe many of us think fulfilling this commission looks like being in a pulpit preaching the gospel, but the reality is,

FORGET YOUR PULPIT.

This pandemic has shown us that God can not be confined to nobodies building!! 

God is unique. He’s very very creative, no two people will spread the gospel of Jesus Christ the same way. Everybody has a uniqueness about them and when you become a Christian that doesn’t mean that that uniqueness stops, that you have to die on the inside and put yourself in a box and not be who you were created to be. The false idea that you can’t be “yourself” is often birthed through traumatic events in our past. These events have shaped our minds into accepting or settling for who we think we are based on past wounds that have occurred or have been inflicted on us over the years.

Think of your heart like a piece of glass… every time an issue arises, an offense occurs, or a heart is inflicted with pain, it begins to crack into pieces. We then begin to filter life through those broken pieces. Those pieces comprise our perspective. Through a broken perspective, how can you view life through a healthy filter? 

You’ve been settling because you’ve carried it for so long, and it is tearing you apart.

What if I told you that you don’t have to stay that way?

What if I told you partnering with God could change your whole life, greater than what you’ve been settling for?

I launched Heart 2 HEaRt because I decided to say yes to God and partner with him to do something that He saw in me that I didn’t necessarily see in myself.

Talking is my thing and thoroughly enjoying helping people and solving problems, but I couldn’t see past who I had settled into being to see who He was confident that I was. 

How many of you have felt like there’s more to this life than what you’ve been settling for, you just are unsure of how to uncover what that is?

Don’t go another 5 -10 years not knowing.

Schedule your Heart 2 HEaRt session today, so you can heal and get free.