The Process:Trust

by | Jun 18, 2020 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

There I was faced with uprooting my entire life…what felt comfortable…what I’d made sense of…what I helped build. All of it was about to completely be torn down. 

Honestly, it didn’t happen all at once, it was gradual but it FELT like it was suddenly. At first, I was angry, then afraid because I couldn’t begin to figure out the HOW. My ex-husband and I had built a life for 8 years before we separated, we’d accumulated ALOT of stuff along with 5 children. There were many days where I would become so discouraged because fear was trying to trap me in the what if’s. 

What if you can’t afford to do this?

What if you never amount to anything?

What if you can’t buy anything? You don’t have anything saved!

Sooo naturally I did what anyone who was faced with moving would do….got a moving quote LOL.

Okay, I cried a little…procrastinated a bit…got frustrated at the thought of possibly losing all my stuff but after all THAT, I got a quote LOL. Now armed with this quote I figured all I had to do was throw away what I didn’t want.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!

Proverbs 3:5-6(NKJV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

God began to deal with the root issue. It wasn’t uprooting, it was TRUST. I didn’t know how I was going to trust God amid absolute uncertainty. The only thing I knew was that I couldn’t go on any longer feeling frustrated at the clutter. When we separated, I downsized. There was stuff in my room, packed in the garage, in boxes in the hallway it made me feel so discouraged. Over time I organized but my room was like a closet. You know that closet where all your skeletons are, no one knows what’s really going on in there but you? Yeah, my room was like that. 

One day in the midst of sorting through what I wanted to keep, God began to speak. He said something like, “If you continue to hold on to all the old stuff then how can I replace it with anything new.” At first, that made sense, so I began to put things in the bag, not thinking twice. When I was done I felt good about it but…I left the bags in the room. I had to tend to the kids, and they were heavy so I’d give them away eventually. 

A few days later, I began to go through the bags again. I started to take stuff out of the bag trying to figure out if it could still benefit me keeping it. 

God swiftly told me to put it back! Reminding me to trust Him, reassuring me He was in control.

How often do we do that? We begin to go through the process of getting rid of things in our lives, but then go back and pick that thing up. 

We negotiate whether we really need to get rid of it.

Negotiate whether we should leave that abusive partner.

Negotiate whether to leave that job that hasn’t allowed room for growth.

Negotiate whether it’s worth cutting off those “friends” who only call you to drop off their problems but are never available when you need them.

Negotiate whether a schedule is truly beneficial for your business.

That last one is me telling on myself. For the record, I made the schedule but the discipline to follow the schedule is another story. 

James 4:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

 

Of course in true God fashion, He comes in and checks me. Sigh

What has God been checking you about that you haven’t laid down yet? 

My question to you is, the very thing that no longer serves you (or may have never served you), why are you willing to hold on to it any longer?

 

Maybe you’re just unsure of how to let it go, or know something needs to go but can’t pinpoint what that thing is, or perhaps you need that push to get you to where you want to be…

Let me help you get over this hump and to that next place. Book a Heart 2 HEaRt today.