by | Jan 27, 2021 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Hey family! I’ve been a bit MIA because, well, LIFE.,

 

It’s just literally been overwhelming and frustrating. There’s a lot of things that I’ve been facing that have really been stretching me these past few weeks and 2021 JUST started. 

God most certainly is NOT playing when it comes to growth and His children in this hour. I’m going to be transparent. I’m one of those children right now who has their arms folded across their chest and shaking their head “NO!” 

 

Mamas, y’all know those kids!

 

The ones who are either willingly being defiant or the ones who are extremely overwhelmed and because they do not know how to respond to the situation, they do what they can, and that’s to assert their feelings. They’re saying no because they really do not want to, or they’re unsure of how to do something or what may come next if they actually do what is asked of them.

 

Which one am I? Honestly, I don’t know… 

 

Maybe a mixture of both.

 

Coping in my own way has been my go-to, albeit unproductive; I have come to this place where I know what to do but don’t know what to do. Sounds a bit confusing but let me explain. I know what to do as far as drawing near to the Lord; however, I don’t know what to do as far as taking the first steps. Really I’ve been wallowing in checking out. 

 

Operating in autopilot 

 

It’s not the most productive thing to do, but the amount of stretching I’ve been facing these last few days have been wildly uncomfortable. There’s nowhere to retreat, and there’s everything to avoid; as comforting as it has been, it is very dangerous for two reasons.

 

  1. The more you sit in your feelings, the more you lose sight of the truth that God cares about every little detail of your life, no matter how small.
  2. The spirit of condemnation begins to comfort you. Condemnation begins to speak to you reminding you of the “bad” job you are currently doing. Reminding you of all you could have accomplished but haven’t. 

Over the past five days, I’ve gotten two essential reminders. 

 

  1. Grace is something that we must give to ourselves the same way we give to others. Remind ourselves that God gives us grace even in our brokenness or rebellion. Grace is defined as free and undeserved love that never quits. God gives us the grace to be able to say, “Yeah, I messed up, but I’m not cast away. I’m still loved, and it’s not because of anything I did, but because of who God is.”
  2. God cares for us. Even when we want a turkey sandwich.

1 Peter 5:7 AMP

 

7 casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].

 

Now you’re probably wondering what in the world does a turkey sandwich have to do with anything. Well, storytime!

 

When I was in the hospital in 2017 after giving birth, the nurses would bring these food boxes with juice, snack, and a sandwich. Although I had explicitly asked for turkey, one of the nurses brought me ham even though I do not eat pork. Well, one night I requested a box but forgot to specifically asked for turkey. In my mind, I quietly hoped for a turkey sandwich. I was too tired to bother the nurses again to get me anything specific. Well, do you know that when my box finally came, it was the turkey? At that moment, the Lord reminded me that I care about every little thing….even quiet wants of a turkey sandwich.

 

So let me encourage you all today even when you don’t have the words to pray, even if you’ve felt you have strayed, even when you can’t encourage yourself, just know it doesn’t matter what you have or have not done; give yourself grace, the way God gives you grace every single day. Every single day is an opportunity to go back to God and allow Him to heal the broken places. Every single day is a new opportunity for the Lord to handle every care you have. Every single day is an opportunity for God to be Lord in your life. 

 

John 3:16-18

16 “For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] [a]only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge and condemn the world [that is, to initiate the final judgment of the world], but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Whoever believes and has decided to trust in Him [as personal Savior and Lord] is not judged [for this one, there is no judgment, no rejection, no condemnation]; but the one who does not believe [and has decided to reject Him as personal Savior and Lord] is judged already [that one has been convicted and sentenced], because [b]he has not believed and trusted in the name of the [One and] only begotten Son of God [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, the One who alone can save him].